


Ass Out of U and Me

by Aida



Series: 30 Day AU Challenge [21]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And assumes a lot, Assumed Relationship, Basically everyone's an idiot, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutually Unrequited, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 10:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aida/pseuds/Aida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo's just trying to meet up with the study group. Fíli thinks he's doing something else. Or, rater, some<i>one</i> else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ass Out of U and Me

“You’re going to see Professor Fundin, aren’t you?”

Bilbo stiffened, pausing in the process of shouldering on his bag to look at Fíli, who was glaring at him from his place on the sofa. It was times like these that he regretted agreeing with the Durin brothers on the topic that they should all live together in a small house just off of campus. Aside from the fact that they tended to make quite a mess, refused to do anything with the toilets, and generally gave Bilbo too much of a peak into their sex lives, it was this. This peculiar overprotectiveness that they harnessed years ago when they were in secondary school and Bilbo was the prime subject to bullying. 

They were friends, sure, and Bilbo would rather be living with them than some dorm or, heaven forbid, commute. But they had an equal eye to what he did as he did with them. 

As for this aforementioned professor, Doctor Dwalin Fundin was their Biology professor. They were all signed up for his lectures, and Bilbo was the one to make sure that the brothers always attended to save himself from having to lend them all his notes and Dwalin from informing their uncle that they were skipping. Their uncle being Thorin, who was good friends with Dwalin, having gone to university together themselves.

“I’m going to the study group.” Bilbo corrected, turning to face Fíli head on. “You know, the one I told you about the other day? The one both you and Kíli don’t want to go to because it’s ‘boring’.”

“You didn’t invite us!”

“I certainly did! You were just too busy watching football!” 

Fíli adjusted himself in his seat. “Then maybe you should start bringing such topics up when we’re not previously occupied.”

“Well, Kíli heard me loud and clear. And I also remember your agreement with his whinging.”

“What’s this about me and whinging?” Kíli asked as he left the kitchen, looking between the two and eating cereal.

“Bilbo’s going to see Dwalin.” Fíli groused, and Kíli gawped.

“Again? That’s the third time this week!” 

“I’m _going_ to the study group!” Bilbo stated through gritted teeth, and he watched as Kíli relaxed immediately.

“Oh, okay.” He replied, digging through the bowl as Fíli rounded on his brother.

“Are you serious? Kíli, he’s clearly not going to study group!” He shouted. “He’s going to Dwalin’s house to…! To…! To do wicked things to him just so Bilbo can get an A on his report!”

“That’s not true!” Kíli retorted. “Dwalin’s not that dumb. Plus, Dwalin’s not Bilbo’s type, or vice versa!”

“Well, clearly, you need to start wearing your glass-!”

“Enough!” Bilbo shouted, causing both brothers to freeze. “Look, even if there was… something going on between Professor Fundin and I, and there _isn’t_ , I would not be doing it just to get a good grade. I can get that on my own. Not to mention that Dwalin has made it quite clear that he can’t be bought!”

He decided not to mention the fact that Dwalin was currently in a rather secretive relationship with one of the TA’s, the one that always wore a silly hat, mostly because it was nobody’s business who was dating who, particularly who Bilbo was or wasn’t dating. It was certainly not Fíli’s business, though Bilbo sometimes wanted it to be.

This time wasn’t one of those times. 

Fíli stood from his seat, marching over to where Bilbo stood by the door. “Are you really going to study group, then?”

“Wha-? Yes!” Bilbo snapped. “For the millionth time, yes!”

The blonde’s blue eyes narrowed further, and before Bilbo could step aside, Fíli was yanking his bag open. 

“Fíli!” Both Bilbo and Kíli cried as Fíli rifled through it, as if looking for something. Of course, he would not find anything. All Bilbo had in his bag was his notebooks, class book, and small clip for his writing utensils. 

This protectiveness was quite ridiculous.

“Stop it!” Bilbo shouted, yanking himself and his bag back. “You are acting like an immature, overly jealous boyfriend, and it is not pretty!”

Fíli stiffened, hands balling into fists.

“Now, I am going to the study group.” Bilbo continued in a terse tone as he tore open the door. “ _Not_ to whore myself out to my professor! A low in which you actually think I would stoop to!”

“Bilbo…” Kíli muttered, walking over as Fíli’s hands shook. 

“Make sure Fíli doesn’t go charging outside like a bull seeing red.” He told him before stepping out and slamming the door behind him.

Kíli stood, staring at the door, only looking away when his brother moved to the sitting room to pace.

“Fee…” He muttered, entering the sitting room himself. “Fee, that probably wasn’t-.”

A sob cut him off, and he watched as Fíli collapsed onto the sofa, hunched over himself and shoulders shaking. 

“Oh, Fee…” Kíli breathed, leaping over the sofa to sit next to his brother, pulling his head into his shoulder. “Fee, he’ll notice soon. I know he will.”

“He won’t.” His brother sobbed. “He never will… Especially after I… I…!”

“Just apologize, Fee.” Kílíi told him. “Because even I think that was a bit much. Then maybe try to show him. You’re not always easy to read.”

Fíli looked up at him. “I fucked up, Kee.” He warbled. “I really fucked up, this time.”

“Not unless you apologize.” Kíli countered. “And be more obvious. After that, well… It’s up to Bilbo to choose…”

“I want him to choose _me_ …”

“I know, Fee. I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fíli, you can be a bigger idiot than your brother, at times. And an ass. Just saying.
> 
> Next prompt is Office... Oh dear...


End file.
